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WARNING: Beyond this point lie spoilers for Fallen London's most infamous storyline: Seeking Mr Eaten's Name. There is much here that you may want to learn on your own. Turn back now. You can find out more about our spoiler policy here. |
"Take comfort - there are arrangements for every reckoning."[1]
The Tragedy Procedures are the Masters' plans and arrangements as to how they will deal with any scenario that puts themselves or the city at risk. These events are typically apocalyptic in nature.
The writing and application of the text is overseen by the Tragedy Commission, which includes the Efficient Commissioner among its members.[2]
Here are some of the known fragments of the Procedures:
"In the event of unscheduled overflow, fly from London. The air is the only refuge; glide until the lacre subsides."[3]
"In the misseriment of HIC SUNT DRACONES convene the Committee for the General Benefit. Addendum: it is desidaratory for all members to be in attendance."[4]
"In the event of suspected impersumption by the Thief-of-Faces, convene the Committee for the General Benefit. All Masters to submitify themselves to the Presumption, the Red Levy, and the Caged Choir."[5]
"If stone pigs roused, valued servants to proceed calmly to Acacia Dock. Evacuation ships to carry them to Port Carnelian. Leave that which is beloved behind."[6]
"...in the event that the Drowned stirs, we will apply the measures indicated in Annex Thirty-Three; Annex Thirty-Four; the Prelapsarian Conditionals; and the Spire-Sign. Through these measures..."[7]
(Annex Thirty-Two occurs if one decides to Seek the Name. It is very likely a minor preparation in case a Seeker is discovered, and it merely consists of an interview with the... er, suicidal party.)[8]
"Shall all be well? Who are the laws? Which ink? What rolls and bobs there? Who is hooked? What is your name? What is due?"[9]
(This action also mentions an "article 21" which claims "Answers are required, it's only fitting." Of course, as this is Seeking the Name, it is possible none of this is real, and the Seeker only imagined it.)
"In the event of insolvency on the part of the Bazaar itself, they call for the "liquidification" of the present city, and the sale of all those that are bound to serve the Bazaar, as nearly took place once before in the time of the First City."[10]
"'In the Event of a Contretemps with an Infernal Power,' the Efficient Commissioner intones. "There are sixteen chapters devoted to variations of this Tragedy. Let us not give ourselves occasion to use them."[11]
The writing is a cramped spiderweb of angular lines chiselled into stone. It concerns something that translates as "CONTINGENCIES FOR THE DISLOCATION OF POLYTHREME."[12]
Here are some of the other Tragedies mentioned:[13]
- IN THE EVENT OF EGGFALL (which seems to mention "soothing the Bazaar with appropriate oils and ointments" and "working with London to prevent the hatching of any Higher Eggs")
- NEXT CITY IMMINENT (ostensibly about the Fall of a new city)
- THE SLEEPER, AWAKENING OF (possibly a reference to the awakening of The Creditor)
- TOTAL EPISTEMOLOGICAL BREAKDOWN
- SEVERE LACRE DEPLETION
- NIGHT, IMMINENT LIBERATION OF
- ENFORCEMENT, ARRIVAL OF (hello, Judgements)
- IS/IS-NOT DISTINCTION, FAILURE OF
Some fragments reference NICATOR, RETURN OF, but these may not actually exist.