"Smoke and mirrors! Light and shade! Bright paint and squealing children and the roar of lions! And the music, as a great man once said, is like electric sugar."[1]
Mrs Plenty's Most Distracting Carnival is a year-round fair held in London.
The time is now 07:50 UTC. All is well.
Distracting[]
"Have you been to Mrs Plenty's Most Distracting Carnival? Wondrous. Wondrous! – but watch your purse. Good place to make friends."[2]
Mrs Plenty's Carnival is a popular attraction found near Spite in London,[3][4] a spot of light in the dark of the Neath that bursts with color and music.[1] Mrs Plenty is the Carnival's owner and namesake,[5] and she arranges and manages the Carnival's festivities.[6][7]
The Carnival is a great place to meet others and make friends;[2] since the stuffy rules of polite society are relaxed, people from London's many social circles mingle freely.[8] The Carnival is both profitable[9] and full of distracted patrons,[4] so it is also an enticing target for pickpockets[2] and other criminals.[9]
A carnival ticket.
The Carnival's stalls require tickets for admittance;[10] these tickets are purchased with moon-pearls, through a machine that accepts payment and dispenses tickets automatically.[11] Madame Shoshana additionally gives out tickets in exchange for secrets for her fortune-telling business.[12] Tickets may also be bought using souls,[13] and the cashier's tent has thousands of these stored within.[14]
Mrs Plenty's Carnival can be accessed via a path through the Prickfinger Wastes,[15] but the route is surrounded by dangerously sharp crystal formations. A single misstep can be a one-way ticket to the tomb-colonies.[16]
The Big Top[]
"A riot of colour! A sea of sound! A place where polite society's rules relax and a costermonger may rub shoulders with a bishop."[8]
The Big Top!
The Big Top is the grandest tent at the Carnival.[8] It has performing wolves,[17] bears,[18] sword-swallowers,[19] fire-eaters and fire-breathers,[20] plate-spinners, a monkey,[21] and even caged tigers.[22] Hephaesta, a strongwoman of Mahogany Hall fame, also performs here.[23] The Big Top is where the upper and middle crust of society meet, Bohemians, men of the cloth, constables, Widow's agents, tomb-colonists, and even devils all rub shoulders with one another.[24]
Disguised Masters of the Bazaar sometimes visit the Big Top, guarded by Neddy Men. Mr Apples and Mr Wines are reportedly genial towards patrons, but Mr Iron is very much not.[25]
The Sideshows[]
"The ragged little tents around the edges of the carnival. Throw quoits! Bet on the shell game! Get a tattoo! Have your pocket picked five times in an hour!"[26]
The Sideshows are the less grandiose tents found near the Carnival's outskirts. They boast shell games, quiotes,[26] weasel pits,[27] a musical donkey,[28] and a drownie choir.[29] They also offer tattoos with outlandish designs that are popular among zailors.[30][31] The sideshows tend to attract the dregs of society, with a collection of revolutionaries, Rubbery Men, urchins, criminals, zailors, spies, and servants of the Duchess all congregating and meeting in plain sight at the Sideshows.[32]
There is also an Overgoat here.[33] Mrs Plenty's Carnival requests no further inquiries.
Refreshments[]
"The pavilion is less civilised than it sounds. Some of its wares are surprisingly tasty, if you're brave enough to try them."[34]
The Refreshment Pavilion offers many interesting foods and drinks.[34] Rubbery Lumps are the Carnival's flagship product and are battered and fried zee-monster meat. Their texture can be tough, but consuming them can incite a feeling of vigor, a desire to swim in the Unterzee, or further hungers...[35]
Spore-toffee is another snack that some onlookers consider popular among criminals. Made from fungi, its sticky texture belies its restorativeness. Cooks sometimes drop a shard of glim in the pan when making spore-toffee, along with a quick incantation, for good luck.[36]
The Pavilion also offers cheap wine, served hot and improved by adding spice.[37] Other foods offered at the Carnival include pink-colored moss-floss and toffee-puffballs.[38]
Carnival Games[]
"The air thrums with the furtive energy of money changing hands. Games of skill. Games of chance. The occasional thrown lizard snatching a bat from the air. What could be better?"[39]
A pair of Carnival dice.
The Games Tent hosts many games of both skill and chance. The dice games use symbols rather than numbers, such as honey-drops, bats, daggers, hearts, and candles.[40] Patrons can also play a game where they throw a lizard in the air to catch bats. Blue lights are lit nearby to attract moths and the bats who would hunt them.[41] Card games are also offered at high and low tables that use jade chips for stakes.[42][43]
Mrs Plenty's Shooting Range is a game at the Carnival that offers prizes for crack shots.[44]
Philonous the Uncanny is the Carnival's mesmerist and mnemonist, who wears a pair of Neathglass goggles to conceal his eyes. He challenges patrons to a game of chess, but his gaze can be quite distracting.[45]
Beneath the Neath[]
"At MRS PLENTY'S CARNIVAL, ENJOY a DIVERTING EDUCATIONAL AND THRILLING RIDE into the CHASMIC ABYSMS of SUB-SUBTERRANEAN TROGLODYTRY! SEE the FOSSILS OF the ELDER PAST! ENJOY our PAINSTAKING RECREATION of the HELLS OF ANTIQUITY! (REFUNDS NOT AVAILABLE in case of UNWISE DEATH.)"[46]
The Carnival's big wheel.
Beneath the Neath is a partially submerged Ferris wheel[47] that takes passengers into a cavern beneath the Carnival. Most passengers return soon after.[48] The cave has large fossils embedded in its walls[49] and it's sometimes used as a hiding place for valuables. These include jade trinkets,[50] souls, or infernal contracts.[51]
The first section of Beneath the Neath travels through reconstructions of various underworlds. Passengers are first taken through a recreation of a classical Hades, then through a fire-and-brimstone Hell. The latter recreation is staffed by actors who may or may not be actual devils.[52]
The second part of the ride is in a deeper part of the cavern. Glowing horse-sized slugs are the only light source this far down. Mysterious pulsations can be heard that evoke a heartbeat or breathing. Soon after this unsettling segment, the ride ascends back to the surface.[53][51]
The House of Mirrors[]
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"The House of Mirrors squats like an ape in a quiet corner of the carnival. Strange mirrors are labelled in a neat, scholarly hand. It is not a popular attraction."[54]
The House of Mirrors is an unpopular attraction in an ignored part of the Carnival. It contains many labeled mirrors with unique, often dangerous, properties.[54]
Known mirrors include:
Don't fall in.
- Dream's Mirror, decorated with bronze cats and silver lizards. Looking into this mirror shows no reflection, but peer in far enough and it will induce a new way to view the world - and mandate a stay at the Royal Bethlehem Hotel.[55]
- Heart's Mirror, which smells of blood and dust. It also shows no reflection, but anyone who gazes deeply into it is instantly sent to the Slow Boat.[56]
- The Winged Mirror, a mirror of dark glass with a frame covered in black feathers. One corner is chipped and missing.[57] This mirror is associated with July of the Calendar Council.[58]
- A mahogany-framed mirror, inscribed with beetles and tree-roots. Anyone who studies this mirror is sent to the Mirror-Marches.[59]
Be wary.
- A bronze-framed mirror, with gargoyles said to be carved by a student of Dalou, a famous French sculptor. The mirror's surface is said to be forged from glim melted in the furnaces of the Brass Embassy. It has the inscription: "BE WARY".[60]
- An iron-framed mirror, said to be forged from cannonballs from the Crimea with a backing made from silverware stolen from a church. It has the inscription: "BE UNDEFEATED".[61]
- A gold-framed mirror, said to be forged from idols stolen from the Pale Tabernacle, a place of "unearthly delights" spoken of by zailors. The mirror's inscription is unknown.[62][63]
- A lapis-framed mirror, with decorations said to be from the Second City; the mirror itself is recent. It has the inscription: "LOOK BEHIND YOU".[64]
The Anatomy Exhibition[]
"The NOTED PEDAGOGUE Mrs Plenty presents an INFORMATIVE and EDUCATIONAL EXHIBITION of ANATOMY and DANCES of ANTIQUITY for DISCERNING GENTLEFOLK. You will BE IMPROVED!"[65]
The Most Educational Anatomy Exhibition is an strictly educational exhibit staffed by various performers.[65] They include Miss Forward,[66] Mr Adonis, and a tomb-colonist performer... who is really Mr Adonis wrapped in bandages.[67]
Rubbery Men also perform at the Anatomy Exhibition. Sadly, they are often heckled by audience members.[68] The Rubbery Men also do not approve of this arrangement, and they often rescue their fellows from the Exhibition in daring escapades.[69]
Other Known Peformers[]
"Madame Shoshana's shabby, perfumed little tent is tucked away behind the House of Mirrors. Cross her palm with silver, er, tickets, and choose your method of divination."[70]
Madame Shoshana is the Carnival's fortune teller. She has a tent behind the House of Mirrors[70] and she uses tea-leaves,[71] palm-reading,[72] unique tarot cards,[73] and a crystal ball for her divinations.[74]
Jervaise, butler to Mr Wines and husband to Mrs Plenty, works as the Carnival's Bearded Lady.[75][76]
Mlle Lefebvre is a renowned French accordionist who performs at the Carnival.[77] The Human Cannonball is another performer.[78] The Carnival also employs acrobats,[79] contortionists,[80] and pole-vaulters; for performances, it employs firework displays, trampolines, and trapezes.[81]
Other Attractions[]
"Well, the fire-eater is quite the show-woman. And those plate-spinners are rather amusing. But look - a monkey! Weren't you supposed to be doing something here? Never mind, it can wait a little longer. This place is most distracting."[21]
During a fad for bones in London,[82] Mrs Plenty established a Tent of Terror[83] and stocked it with spooky scary skeletons from the Department of Menace Eradication.[84]
Another attraction is a prize-fighting tent[85] where a towering goat-demon named Yule Lad faces challengers in a wrestling ring of honor.[86][87] So far, no opponent has made it past the first round.[88]
The Carnival also has a menagerie of caged animals[89][90] for audiences to observe.[91]
The Feast of the Exceptional Rose[]
"In honour of the Feast of the Exceptional Rose, Mrs Plenty has set up a pleasure garden of heady delights. These include an 'exotic' roast chestnut stall, and a miserable juggler."[92]
Matters of the heart?
To celebrate the Feast of the Exceptional Rose, the Carnival opens a decorative garden[92] that includes a lounge,[93] dancers,[94] a chestnut stall, and a juggler.[92] It also serves Deviled Hearts that taste of fire. Their unique blend of spices can form Correspondence sigils in a consumer's vision for a split second.[95]
The garden also displays a fake Exceptional Rose,[96] and presents the Wheel of Affection, a miniature replica of the Carnival's Ferris wheel. Each model gondola contains a small token, such as a charming poem, or a dead bat in a box (marvelous!).[97][98]